“Behavior wags the tail of feelings…..We do, then we feel.”

                                                                                - David Reynolds

How many times in your life have you said you will finally get to something that you have decided is important to complete when you “feel like it”?  I know I have. 

My weekly project list can be littered with things I have noted as important enough to have put my attention towards; but have remained incomplete.  While some of our mundane tasks do not bring with them a penalty for their incompletion, the problem I see is we often apply this way of thinking to the things we have identified as being the most important in our lives to complete. 

The phone call we need to make, the conversation we need to have, the project we need to complete, the book we want to write, the nutrition or exercise regimen we know we need to begin, all get put off until we “feel like” starting them.

However, as one of my teachers once asked m...

“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

                                                                                       - Anaïs Nin

Our problems and challenges can seem very real.

However, as leaders, we’ve all heard the term “perception is reality”.  The preconceptions and the beliefs we bring to situations can dramatically alter the way we perceive the world. This is particularly true in dealing with problems and challenges.  It is not a new concept in leadership that brining positivity, inquisitiveness and proactiveness to a challenge, will most likely net positive results.  In contrast, we are also aware that bringing negativity, pessimism and fear to the same situation, will most likely create less than optimum outcomes.

When we come right down to it, it is not what is happening to us that is the problem, but how we look at it and the perspective we bring to it.  I know this may seem “pollyana-ish”, particularly when we are in the thick of things.  B...

“The meaning of life is to find your gift.  The purpose of life is to give it away.”

                                                                                               - Anonymous

Being a martial arts instructor has been one of my life’s greatest gift.  Not only has it shaped nearly every aspect of who I am, but it has also allowed me to connect with, teach and learn from an incredible array of human beings.   These countless people would serve not only as my teachers, students, training partners and fellow competitors; but most importantly they would become my friends and extended family.  These relationships have not only supported me throughout my life, but they have done something just as important; they have given me purpose.

While many of the students I have taught, I have may not been in touch with for several years, when I do have the blessing of reconnecting with them; the result is almost always the same.  Despite the years and distance that may have separat...

“True happiness……is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”

                                                                                                                   - Helen Keller

I love movies.  This is particularly love films that provide a glimpse of the magnificence within us as human beings to follow our dreams, despite the challenges face.  I would guess it is that way for most of us, as the motion pictures we find most enjoyable are those that depict the story’s heroes committed to a clear purpose and vision and how they overcome challenges, despite what appear to be insurmountable odds, to realize their dreams.

I believe we are all inspired by these types of films because we truly understand that true happiness does not come from ease and grace in situations to experience our “dream lives” (although that is what most of us are striving for), but rather that fulfillment that comes from us being on purpose and moving thr...

“When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”

                                                                                                             - Brene’ Brown

I admit, most of the blogs that I write are not done to impart my amazing wisdom upon my readers, but rather to process a challenge or issue that I have or am currently experiencing in my own life or in my role as a leader.  This is certainly the case in this writing, as I share about my challenges with perfectionism.  While at times I can say it may have served me, my quest to be “perfect” mostly has diverted or delayed me from realizing what was truly possible to experience in my life.

I learned the value of perfectionism early in my life.  Growing up with an alcoholic father and the chaos it brought within my family, I learned that if I could be the “perfect son”, the “perfect student” and the “perfect athlete”, positive attention could be focused on me tha...

“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

                                                                                                         - Frank A. Clark

OBSTACLES are an inevitable part of the human experience and they are a certainty to be experienced in our role as leaders.  Obstacles come in many forms.  They manifest as health issues, financial struggles, relationship difficulties and overall roadblocks on our path to achieving our goals and desires.

Much of our progess in today’s world is derived from our quest to deal with obstacles and overcome them in the easiest and most efficient ways possible.  Look only as far as our modern-day technologies from the automobile and airplanes in travel to laptop computers and today’s smartphones in the worlds of business and communication and you can directly follow a path to their development originating as a means to deal with a problem or obstacles in our daily lives.

The irony for me is that ...

“Once I made a decision, I never thought about it again.”

                                                                                             - Michael Jordan

Decisions, decisions, decisions…….. Scientists estimate that we make approximately 35,000 different decisions each day.  These range from what we will eat for breakfast and what clothes we will wear to life-alterting choices in our businesses, relationships and our health and well-being.  

According to the Forbes Magazine article, Eight Essential Qualities That Define Great Leadership,  decisiveness or the ability to make empowered decisions ranks as the #5 attribute of a great leader saying,  “A good leader isn’t simply empowered to make decisions due to their position. They are willing to take on the risk of decision making. They make these decisions and take risks knowing that if things don’t work out, they’ll need to hold themselves accountable first and foremost.”

I know I can oftentimes find myself in “analysis...

“Organize around business functions, not people.  Build systems within each business function.  Let systems run the business and people run the systems.  People come and go, but systems remain constant.”

                                                                                   - Michael E. Gerber, author, The E-Myth Revisited

When I first began my entrepreneurial journey, almost 24 years ago, one of the most impactful books I read was, The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber.  In it, he talked not only about the value, but the necessity of utilizing systems in order to make businesses work. 

Like most entrepreneurs just staring out, I engaged in every facet of running my martial arts business; I taught all of the classes, I answered the phone and set appointments, I did the introductory lessons and enrolled new students, I even emptied the garbage and mopped the floors.  This worked well in the early stages of my business’s growth, but soon I became overwhelmed with all o...

"Quality questions create a quality life.  Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

                                                                                                       - Anthony Robbins

Questions.  I have heard innumerable times in my life that the quality of our lives is in direct proportion to the quality of questions we ask ourselves.  This is particularly true when are dealing with challenges.  

As leaders in our lives and in our organizations, challenges are indeed a constant.  Ask any leader who embarked upon something big, and they will almost always tell you that they never arrived at their desired outcome in the way they had planned.  Challenges which required their flexibility, perseverance and creativity to course correct, were the one constant in their journey.  They will also most likely tell you that their ability to move through these challenges were best served by asking themselves and their teams empowerin...