“Stemming from the Latin for "inward," intrinsic goals relate to "goods of the soul," like personal growth, close relationships, and physical health. Stemming from the Latin for "outward," extrinsic goals relate to "worldly goals," like money, status, or fame.

                                                                                         - Harvard Business Insider

In in their book, From Me to We, brothers Marc and Craig Kielburger create a powerful distinction between Extrinsic versus Intrinsic Goals.

Specifically, Extrinsic Goals are those we strive to achieve outside ourselves like career status, financial achievements, and personal possessions.  

Intrinsic Goals are those we create inside ourselves like love, peace, acceptance, a connection with our Higher Power (whatever that is for you) and a commitment to the service of others.

Neither is good nor bad or better than the other.  However, the Kielbergers propose that when we are clear and committed to our...

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

                                                                              - Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Several years ago, while attending a month-long leadership training, the facilitator of the program made a statement that would prove to be life-changing for me. 

He began one of our first sessions together by saying,

"Most of you in this room are living your lives backwards.”

I thought that was an interesting statement, so I took out my pen to take some copious notes.  He then when onto say, "Most of you are living your lives from a perspective of Have-Do-Be." 

"When you have enough money, then you'll do the things you want to do, and you'll be happy."

"When you have more time, then you'll do the things you promised your kids you would do together, and you'll be a better parent."

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

                                                                                      - Tony Robbins

When I was young, I loved bubble gum.  My mom taught me how to blow bubbles with my chewing gum, and I loved showing off my skill in producing the largest bubbles possible without allowing them to pop and caught in my face and hair.

My favorite bubble gum was the Bazooka Joe brand.  Its flat rectangular shape fit easily into my mouth, and within a matter of seconds, the sugary, pliable, pink substance popped joyfully into my mouth.  I also liked Bazooka Joe because of what was inside each wrapper – a comic strip.

One day, I opened up a piece of gum and found a comic strip that had Bazooka Joe standing under a large streetlamp, feverishly looking for something.  In the next frame, his friend Bill appeared, and the following dialogue occurred.

Bill: “Hey, Joe. What are you doing?”

Bazooka Joe: ...

“The only real difference between anxiety and excitement was my willingness to let go of fear.”

                                                                                              - Barbara Brown Taylor

As a martial arts master instructor, I have had many opportunities in my career to assist my students in moving through their fears. 

Whether it was stepping onto the mat for their first class, testing for a new belt, breaking a board with an unfamiliar technique, or stepping into the sparring ring versus an opponent, the fear and anxiety felt can be palpable and cause one to freeze or give up before they ever try.

However, one thing I have noticed throughout the years, is those who chose to move forward despite their fears, and brake through to the other side, were met with feelings of exhilaration and excitement they never knew possible.  The mere action of moving towards and eventually through their fears, oftentimes proved to life-changing in building their co...

“What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.”

                                                                                                       - Robin Sharma

Champions, whether it be in sports, business or in life, understand one very simple concept - what we focus on expands.  

Think about a vision you have for your life and/or your business.  When you focus on the things that empower you on your journey to achieving your dream, the things that excite you and feed your soul on your quest, you usually experience people or circumstances that support you on your path.

Conversely, when you just focus on the challenges of your situation and the obstacles you encounter while on your quest, you probably see more of those situations show up.  

To be clear, I am not advocating we put our "heads in the sand" and ignore our challenges or pretend they are not there.  On the contrary, I am suggesting we identify our...

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.”

- Sonia Ricotti

When we get honest with ourselves, most of the upset we experience in our lives is due not to what happens to us or what others have done to us, but to our perceptions, judgements, and stories we attach to these occurrences.

While there are instances in life that can seem devastating at the time they occur, it is my experience that once we move through, accept, and process these experiences, they are often the catalyst for our most valuable life lessons of growth and expansion.

The two most devasting events of my life were losing my 11-year-old brother to a drowning accident the summer before my senior year of high school and going through divorce after a 26-year relationship with my wife.

In both instances, I did not know if I had the strength to carry on.

I was hurt, frustrated, scared and angry. While in this state, I placed blame on others, on God, and even myself. It was ea...

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly; you're doing something.”

                                                                                           - Neil Gaiman

Every four months, I receive a new group of Black Belt Candidates from our martial arts organization to train in preparation for their upcoming Black Belt Testing with me. 

Since most of these candidates are my student’s students, this is the first time many of them have trained with me.  As you might imagine, many of them are quite nervous, not knowing what to expect in their first classes with me. 

This oftentimes causes them to freeze and make errors that they wouldn’t regularly make.  This then causes greater nerves and trepidation which then leads to even large...

“Dedicating your time to being AGAINST something is the same as dedicating your life to something you hate; you feed it with your energy. Knowing what you are against, helps you decide what you are FOR. From there, the best thing to do is to pour all of your focus and time and energy into what you are FOR instead.”

                                                                                                                             - Teal Swan

In our society, we are so conditioned to focus on what we are against.

Today, entire platforms, movements, philosophies and political agendas can be based on this “against-ness”.

In our personal and professional lives, as we encounter difficulties, our initial reactions are generally to resist what is and fight against our challenges to get the results we desire.

While fighting for a cause we believe in is certainly an admirable endeavor, it is my experience that when we place our attention only on what we dislike/hate, do ...

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.”  

                                                                                           - Joel A. Barker

I believe we are all born with a vision for what we want in our lives inside of us. 

Just think back to when you were child and the numerous visions you had for what you wanted to be in when you “grew up”.  Your imagination was boundless.  I personally wanted to be a cartoonist, a doctor, an astronaut and a super-hero (Actually, when I was 5-years old, I WAS Batman).  

I believe these visions are set inside of us so that we have a path of expression to share our innate gifts and make our world a better place.  This is not just available for some of us, but for all of us. 

However, this begs the question:  If this is true, why is it that so many of us allow those visions to become merely dreams that fade away because we never take action...

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”

                                                                                  - Aristole Onasis

Each year, I am blessed to share my message of Black Belt Leadership and its Mind of a Champion principles with several groups across the country.

During many of these sessions, I discuss how the negative stories we create in our minds about our lives can dis-empower us and keep us from experiencing the happiness and success we desire. 

In contrast, I also share how Forward Focused thinking, can be used to overcome our perceived obstacles, and also re-frame our challenges as blessings in our lives when we really look at them with an open mind and heart.

To explore this, I have participants in many of my sessions share with a partner a challenge they are currently experiencing in their lives. 

In sharing this challenge, participants are asked to communicate the details surrounding these obstacles ...