“No one can do it for you, but you can’t do it alone.”

                                                    - Anonymous

There are a lot of men hurting out there.

The issues impacting men are numerous.  These include, but are not limited to relational, emotional, financial and career pressures all while struggling to understand what it truly means to be a man in today’s world. 

The root cause of these challenges often begins early in life during boyhood and get buried rather than expressed.  Most young men are discouraged from asking for help and encouraged to push through and take care if it themselves as “real men don’t ask for help.” 

The negative impact of this norm is that as men develop, their problems and issues continue to go unnoticed or untreated and eventually surface and/or release in painful and destructive ways.

If you don’t believe me, consider this…….

• Men are 3X as likely to become addicted to drugs/alcohol as women
• Young men are 40% less likely t
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“(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation) . . . asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions.”

                                                                                       - Ellen Langer, Mindfulness

Think of the last time you faced a major challenge in your life.  You may be at that place right now as you read this. 

How many times are we caught up in the mind game of whether we can successfully tackle a challenging situation?  Our minds can go in all types of crazy directions that cause us to delay our actions, bring us upset and ultimately cause us to miss opportunities because we doubt our ability to succeed. 

This is most often rooted in us just focusing on the outcome of the situation and not the process we can move through to transce...

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”

                                                                            - Carl Gustav Jung

Welcome to the final installment of our three-part series entitled, “The 3 C’s of Creating Breakthroughs.”

In our first segment, I discussed “C number one” which is to Clarify Your Vision. 

Last week I discussed the “Second C” of Creating Your Plan, which comprised of the following four elements. 

• Begin with the end in mind – then break it down
• Identifying who can hold you capable in breaking through
• What obstacles to you need to plan for? And…
• What celebration will you take part in when you achieve breakthrough?

If you would like to take a deeper dive into these and other principles to achieving breakthroughs, download my free report…

The Top Ten Big Ideas to Creating Breakthroughs

In part three of this series, we will explore the “final C”, Consistent Action.

I love the opening quote from Carl ...

A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

                                                          - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Welcome to part two of our three-part series entitled, “The 3 C’s of Creating Breakthroughs.”

In our first installment, I discussed “C number one” which is to Clarify Your Vision.  This was comprised of asking yourself and answering the following three questions…

• What do you REALLY want?
• What is your BIG WHY? And…..
• Who do you need to BE to create your breakthrough?

If you would like to take a deeper dive into these and other principles to achieving breakthroughs, download my free report…

The Top Ten Big Ideas to Creating Breakthroughs.

In part two of this series, we will explore the “second C”, Creating a Plan.

As the opening quote so deftly states, “a goal without a plan is just a wish.”

While this may seem like a cute play on words, there is much wisdom in this statement in guiding us in our quest to breakthroughs in our li...

“Breaking through your self-imposed barriers (and they are self-imposed) is the greatest challenge you will ever face.  Face them you must.”

                                                                                      - Mary-Frances Winters

In my over four decades as a martial arts instructor, and now in my work as a speaker, life-coach and workshop facilitator, I have been honored to guide a multitude of students, clients and audience members through the journey of breaking through obstacles in their life.

These areas of breakthrough can appear in many forms, such as; the desire to release body weight, improving one’s physical health, healing relationships, overcoming financial difficulties or creating the business or career of their dreams.

In our minds, these challenges can seem to exist completely outside of us in the difficult circumstances we encounter.  We believe that if we just “fix” the outside, we will feel better on the inside.

However, I have come...

"The more disciplined I become, the freer I am to have the life I want.  If I conduct myself in a disciplined and organized way, I have much more free time."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   – Steve Chandler

Discipline and Freedom.  At first glance, these concepts seem like diametrically opposed ways of being.  

When one thinks of discipline, images of austere rules, rigid schedules and harsh punishment might come to mind.  Conversely, the idea of freedom can evoke images of complete lack of responsibility and the ability to do as one pleases without any consequences imposed by authority.  

From the time we are children to well into our advanced stages of adulthood, there is an internal yea...

"Move the body and the mind and spirit will follow.  Most of us have it the other way around.  I know I did for years.  I thought I always had to have it right in my mind and spirit before I DO anything adventurous .... like go for a long run, or create a successful career ... But the body can go first.  Like Emerson says, 'do the thing and you shall have the power'."                                

                                                                                                         - Steve Chandler

“I just don't feel like it.” 

“I'm too tired right now.” 

“I will do it when I am more inspired.”

How many times in your life have you not taken action because of thoughts about your "feelings" like the ones above? 

Please don't misunderstand me.  As a student of Spiritual Psychology, I understand the importance of getting in touch with our feelings; to truly embrace the emotions such as anger, resentment and fear that we have repressed from our past th...

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.”

                                                                                          - Oprah Winfrey

I was recently watching an inspirational video on YouTube featuring Oprah Winfrey delivering a commencement speech to an auditorium of graduating college students (yes, I think Oprah is the bomb 😊). 

During her impassioned address, she imparted upon the graduates the words shared above,

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.” 

Hearing these words caused me to pause, reflect upon and appreciate all of the amazing people I have had in my life who supported and encouraged me. 

These include my parents, my family, my martial arts instructors, my students, my bosses, my coaches, my friends, and yes, my former spouse. 

Each one of them has brought a specific gift to me to encourage me to be my best by claiming the best that they see in me. 

During almost every ke...

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. That means developing great habits. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments, and that bridge must be crossed every day. Over time that daily crossing becomes a habit. And ultimately, people do not decide their future; they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.”

                                                                                                         - John Maxwell

We are all creatures of habit. 

When we take a close look at our lives, it is usually easy to see how many of the activities we embark upon each day are nothing more than a continuation of the things we did in the days, weeks and months before. 

Sometimes these habits are positive and lead us to greater growth and expansion. 

However, many times, these habits are behaviors that have continued for large portions of our lives and do not serve us, other than providing us the feeling ...

“Success is not final.  Failure is not fatal.  It is the courage to continue that counts.”

                                                                                  - Winston Churchill

In my over five decades of teaching and training in the martial arts, I have witnessed some incredible examples of students overcoming obstacles in their training and in their lives.  Injuries and illness, personal relationship challenges and financial difficulties are just a few of the difficulties I have seen my students be confronted with and overcome. 

While these instances are generally not experiences, we would intentionally ask for in our lives, they invariably are gifts as they help us to become better, stronger and more expanded than when we began our journey to confront them. 

One of my favorite stories to illustrate this comes from a student I had the honor of teaching for many years named Nabeel.

Nabeel came to our martial arts school when he was around 8 years old.  ...