"(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation)… asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions."

                                                                                                                                          – Ellen Langer, Mindfulness

How often do we find ourselves paralyzed by the question: "Can I do it?"

It’s a question that’s natural to ask when faced with a challenge, but it’s also one that can stop us in our tracks. The moment we focus on whether we can achieve something, we tend to get caught in a cycle of fear, doubt, and uncertainty. We worry about failure, which, ironically, makes failure more likely.

But what if I told you the question you should be asking is not “Can I do it?” but rather "How do I do it?"

Let me ex...

“(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation) . . . asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions.”

                                                                                   - Ellen Langer, Mindfulness

Think of the last time you faced a major challenge in your life. 

You may be at that place right now as you read this. 

How many times are we caught up in the mind game of whether we can successfully tackle a challenging situation? 

Our minds can go in all types of crazy directions that cause us to delay our actions, bring us upset and ultimately cause us to miss opportunities because we doubt our ability to succeed. 

This is most often rooted in us just focusing on the outcome of the situation and not the process we can move through to tra...

“(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation) . . . asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions.”

                                                                                       - Ellen Langer, Mindfulness

Think of the last time you faced a major challenge in your life.  You may be at that place right now as you read this. 

How many times are we caught up in the mind game of whether we can successfully tackle a challenging situation?  Our minds can go in all types of crazy directions that cause us to delay our actions, bring us upset and ultimately cause us to miss opportunities because we doubt our ability to succeed. 

This is most often rooted in us just focusing on the outcome of the situation and not the process we can move through to transce...

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.”

                                                                                          - Oprah Winfrey

I was recently watching an inspirational video on YouTube featuring Oprah Winfrey delivering a commencement speech to an auditorium of graduating college students (yes, I think Oprah is the bomb 😊). 

During her impassioned address, she imparted upon the graduates the words shared above,

“People who want what’s best for you, want to see you at your best.” 

Hearing these words caused me to pause, reflect upon and appreciate all of the amazing people I have had in my life who supported and encouraged me. 

These include my parents, my family, my martial arts instructors, my students, my bosses, my coaches, my friends, and yes, my former spouse. 

Each one of them has brought a specific gift to me to encourage me to be my best by claiming the best that they see in me. 

During almost every ke...

“(A) process orientation (versus outcome orientation) . . . asks ‘How do I do it?’ instead of ‘Can I do it?’ and this directs attention toward defining the steps that are necessary on the way. This orientation can be characterized in terms of the guiding principle that there are no failures, only ineffective solutions.”

                                                                                       - Ellen Langer, Mindfulness

Think of the last time you faced a major challenge in your life.  You may be at that place right now as you read this. 

How many times are we caught up in the mind game of whether we can successfully tackle a challenging situation?  Our minds can go in all types of crazy directions that cause us to delay our actions, bring us upset and ultimately cause us to miss opportunities because we doubt our ability to succeed. 

This is most often rooted in us just focusing on the outcome of the situation and not the process we can move through to transce...