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What Are You FOR vs. What Are You AGAINST?

May 25, 2021

“Dedicating your time to being AGAINST something is the same as dedicating your life to something you hate; you feed it with your energy.  Knowing what you are against, helps you decide what you are FOR.  From there, the best thing to do is to pour all of your focus and time and energy into what you are FOR instead.”

                                                                                                               - Teal Swan

 

In our society, we are so conditioned to focus on what we are against. 

 

Today, entire platforms, movements, philosophies and political agendas can be based on this “against-ness”. 

 

In our personal and professional lives, as we encounter difficulties, our initial reactions are generally to resist what is and fight against our challenges to get the results we desire.

 

While fighting for a cause we believe in is certainly an admirable endeavor, it is my experience that when we place our attention only on what we dislike/hate, do not agree with or want eliminated, it actually can cause those elements to grow and expand. 

 

For example, despite our War on Drugs, substance abuse continues to climb in our country.  Despite the War on Poverty, poor socio-economic conditions continue to negatively impact a large segment of our society, and despite the War on Terror, too many people across the world needlessly die each year.

 

Please don’t misunderstand me, there is definitely a serious need to take appropriate action to deal with negative forces in our personal lives, as well as within the world.  There are many very brave men and women who make serious personal sacrifices to keep us safe and make the world a better place, for which I am extremely grateful. 

 

However, in the long run, there may be better way. 

 

Because, as the old adages say….

 

“What we focus on expands and What we resist persists."

 


 

While this may seem unrealistic and even pollyannish, I would ask for a moment to consider this:  Rather than making our focus what we are fighting AGAINST, what if we placed our attention on what we were FOR?

 

For example, in the cases mentioned above, rather than fighting against drug abuse, what if we were for mental health and healthy lifestyles?  Rather than fighting against poverty, what if we were for abundance and prosperity? Rather than being against terror, what if we were for justice and peace?

 

As our fights of against-ness remain in our consciousness, our physical world reality continues to reflect those very things we want eliminated.  They then continue to gain a greater foothold in our world, despite our focused and persistent fights against them. 

 

While appealing to people’s fears and their visceral reaction to fight may be an effective leadership approach in mobilizing others in the short term, I have found that in the long term, this is not a productive strategy. 

 

Our constant fight AGAINST something can literally exhaust us as we look to vanquish an enemy that continues to morph and gain strength, based on our focused attention.  This usually ends with us in continued conflict, frustration, or simply giving up, leaving and then looking for the cause to be AGAINST.

 

I know this may all seem hypocritical coming from someone who grew up as a competitive athlete on the football field, has fought countless matches in the taekwondo ring, or is fully adorned in orange and blue when his Denver Broncos are playing AGAINST the Las Vegas Raiders (or whatever city they’re calling home now).

 

But I would argue that in each of these instances, the team or person I was facing, while I may not have liked them, I respected them as an opponent, rather than reviling them as an enemy. 

 

As a result of this competition, my teammates and I actually bettered ourselves because of the competition.  This is because our goal was to defeat our adversaries, rather than vanquish them from the earth (unless we’re talking about Raiders, of course :) ).

 

Let me be clear, this does not mean putting our “heads in the sand” and ignoring negative forces or situations we encounter that we want changed. 

 

On the contrary, it is very much about recognizing and accepting the obstacle we want to overcome, but then, rather than continue to focus our attention AGAINST it (and as a result give it more power over us) we focus on what we are FOR and how to make that come into reality in our lives.

 

One of my favorite stories to illustrate this about Mother Theresa during the height of the Vietnam War.

 

Anti-war protesters had organized a massive march against the war.  They went to Mother Theresa and asked if she would lead them in the effort.  They were shocked when she flatly declined.  

 

In astonishment, they asked, "How can you not participate in a march against the war when it is bringing so much pain and suffering to so many?"

 

Mother Theresa looked at them gently and responded, "If you have a march against the war, I cannot participate.  However, if you have a march for peace, I will lead you."

 

This begs the question, "What are YOU for?"

 

So many times, in life, we struggle against things like our health challenges, financial situations or difficulties in our relationships, not realizing that what we put our energy towards, expands. 

 

Today, I encourage all of us (myself, included) to get clear about what we want, releasing our resistance to what is or what we don't want in our lives and getting crystal clear about what we are for.  

 

Are you ready to move forward? 

 

Chris Natzke

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching

PS:  If you don’t know where to start in taking that first step to breakthrough, download a FREE introductory chapter of my new book, #1 Amazon best-seller, BREAKING THROUGH, by texting “breakthrough” to 720-741-6263.

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