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The Story of the Two Monks

May 27, 2023

“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.”

- Sonia Ricotti

 

When we get honest with ourselves, most of the upset we experience in our lives is due not to what happens to us or what others have done to us, but to our perceptions, judgements, and stories we attach to these occurrences.

 

While there are instances in life that can seem devastating at the time they occur, it is my experience that once we move through, accept, and process these experiences, they are often the catalyst for our most valuable life lessons of growth and expansion.

 

The two most devasting events of my life were losing my 11-year-old brother to a drowning accident the summer before my senior year of high school and going through divorce after a 26-year relationship with my wife.

 

In both instances, I did not know if I had the strength to carry on.

 

I was hurt, frustrated, scared and angry. While in this state, I placed blame on others, on God, and even myself. It was easy to move into victimhood and feel sorry for myself as I held on tightly to what had occurred.

 

However, I finally realized that the only way to heal (after going through my initial grief process) was to let go of my resistance to what had occurred. It was from this place that I could look at what really happened.

 

I could take responsibility for my part in creating, promoting, or allowing it to take place. I could feel gratitude for what those experiences had brought to my life, and finally forgive myself, and from that place, commit to my own personal healing and transformation.

 

This wasn’t at all easy at first, as I attempted to cling on to my pain, but finally accepting what is, proved to be the most important part of this healing journey.

 

Surrendering our attachments and judgments to the way we believe things should be and truly accepting what is, is key to experiencing the deep peace inside ourselves that allows life to flow easily and gracefully to us, despite the circumstances we encounter.

This is illustrated in the following story.

 

Two monks lived in a monastery on top of a mountain. Every five years they were allowed to make a pilgrimage into the city below. One day, the two brothers made their way down their majestic mountain.

 

The monks' order was a loving and giving one. Their teachings were grounded in introspection and deepening their inner journey and they were involved in loving service to their mountain community.

 

However, the order had one unique characteristic. Because their group was made up entirely of men, under no circumstances could any member have contact with a woman. They could not speak to women; they could not think about women, and they certainly could not touch a woman.

 

As the monks made their way through the deep forest surrounding the city, they came upon a river crossing. It was springtime and the winter snow had melted off the mountain, so the river was high, and the water was moving rapidly.

 

As they came to the river's edge, they saw a beautiful young woman with long flowing hair and eyes that were bright as the sun. She was frozen at the river's bank, too frightened to move across the dangerous river's flow.

 

The first monk stopped and weighed his options. He then went to the young woman and warmly greeted her. He bent down, picked her up, placed her on his shoulders and proceeded to carry her across the river. When they safely reached the shore on the other side, he gently set her down. She expressed her immense gratitude to him by giving him a warm kiss on his cheek and embracing him with a loving hug. They said their farewells and they journeyed on their separate ways.

 

The second monk, who was following close behind, could not believe his eyes. His anger and frustration at his brother's violation of the order's sacred rules was intense. However, rather than voice his frustration, he decided to keep his anger inside, saying nothing as they continued toward the city.

 

After trekking several hours in silence, the second monk could no longer repress his anger any longer and blurted out in frustration, "Brother, how dare you interact with that woman! You have violated every aspect of our sacred vows. How could you?"

 

After a long pause, the first monk looked upon his agitated travel companion with a warm smile and simply said,

 

"My dear brother, I set the woman down hours ago at the river's edge, but you appear to still be carrying her."

What are you carrying inside of you that no longer serves you and needs to be released?

 

Where does the opportunity exist to surrender the judgments that are holding you back and keeping you imprisoned?

 

What can you truly let go of today to create a space for all of the great things life has in store for you?

 

Chris Natzke

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching

PS: If you are looking to experience your own breakthrough, CLICK HERE to check out my Breaking Through Online Course!

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