Acceptance and Surrender are NOT for Wimps

“Accept, then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it…….This will miraculously change your whole life.”

                                                                                             - Eckhart Tolle

A couple of years ago, I treated myself to an amazing meditation retreat. 

After four days in the serenity of centeredness, I re-entered the "real world" and was struck by how easy it is to me to revert back to old patterns and habits of getting caught up in my head and the stressors of life. 

One of the most difficult lessons for me, in my life, is to know when to accept what is, let go of control and to surrender.  However, what I am continuing to learn is as counter intuitive as it may seem, any true transformation in life begins with acceptance and surrender. 

While cultural norms may identify the accepting and surrendering to what is as weakness, there is nothing that takes more courage to demonstrate. 

This doesn’t mean that we like or enjoy a situation we find ourselves in or resign to it never changing.  On the contrary, it is simply taking our attention away from fighting what is so we can powerfully act and allow our life to naturally unfold. 

In most cases, these acts of letting go require tremendous strength and courage.  As a result, acceptance and surrender are not for wimps, but for the strong of heart.

We always have a choice to accept our current unwanted circumstances or continue to fight against them.  Although fighting with what is may be a natural response to dealing with challenge, most of the time, this leads to less-than positive results as we waste our energies on what we can’t control rather than focusing on what we can.

When one thinks of a martial arts warrior, the idea of surrender might not spring to mind. Warriors of any kind are believed to be strong and determined, with an indomitable spirit that carries them through the most challenging of life’s struggles to victory. 

The tenacity and never-die spirit of the warrior is known in Korean martial arts as the principle of Pil Sung, which loosely translated means “certain victory.”

But this does not necessarily mean meeting life’s challenges with brute force. On the contrary, the most advanced warriors understand on a deep level the power of surrender and acceptance is the starting point of transformation. 

Internally fighting with the present moment keeps us stuck and unable to move forward, which usually just creates more stuck-ness and frustration.

Or as author Byron Katie quips……………

“When you argue with reality you lose….but only 100% of the time.”

Acceptance and surrender, as I am presenting them here, do not mean “giving in” to the obstacles or challenges that face us. It does not mean running and hiding from life’s difficulties and shirking responsibilities for what we have created in our lives.

What it does mean is “giving up” or dissolving the patterns of behavior, struggles and beliefs that no longer serve us.

Inevitably, what we find when we engage in our internal struggles is our efforts do not net the results we are so desperately seeking, but rather what we resist continues to persist. 

In letting go, we stand to gain a clear understanding of what we are working toward rather than fighting against. In other words, it means giving up the fight in our minds so we can freely take inspired action that expresses in life through the power of our hearts.

Interestingly enough, when we finally let go of our resistance, we may find the path we were on is exactly where we need to be.  We finally discover this when we let go of our attachments to how we believe things SHOULD be by changing our perceptions, life unfold naturally to our benefit. 

We then practically and metaphorically get out of our own way so life can begin for unfold FOR us and THROUGH us.

So, what are some things we can do to better accept and surrender to what is in our lives so we can experience, the peace, freedom and prosperity we desire?  Here are a few things worth considering.

1) Stop, Drop and Breathe– The next time you find yourself in a situation that is bringing you upset as a result of your resistance, stop and look at it for what it REALLY happening (without your story), get out of your head and drop into your heart to access your inner guidance and slow things down by connecting with your breath.

Very few good choices are made when we are in a state of panic or resistance.  Doing this will allow you to better accept and surrender to the situation as it currently is and then take appropriate action to transform or transcend the situation.

2) Remind yourself everything always works out– In my experience, there are very few situations where resistance and worry have ever served me.

On the contrary, in fighting what is, I generally take up vital focus and energy that could be used to direct my energies and focus onto something much more productive.  When I do, things seem to unfold for the best. 

It was Mark Twain who is crediting with saying, “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

3) Take action – From a calm and centered place, take action. If you don’t know what to do, simply slow down your thoughts and think of the next right move and take it.  Then the next right move, and the next, and the next……… 

4) Ask for help when needed – One of the most courageous things we can do is to surrender to what is and ask for help.  No great champion, leader or human being has ever gotten where to where they desire to be without the help of others.  Asking for assistance, when needed, is not a sign of weakness, it is actually a sign of strength.  

5) Let go of the outcome - This is probably the most difficult for me to do.  Letting go of the outcome takes trust - trust in something bigger than ourselves that always has our backs. 

This week, I challenge all of us to look at areas of our lives where accepting and surrendering to what is can serve us.  Where would letting go of our resistance to the current or perceived situation allow things to move in the direction they were designed to flow? 

But remember, acceptance and surrender are not for wimps.

Chris Natzke

Black Belt Leadership Speaking & Coaching

PS:  If you are looking let go and experience a breakthroughs in your life, check out my #1 Amazon best-selling book, BREAKING THROUGH: How to Create Breakthrough Results in your Life, Business and Relationships .